The Uchiha's Ten Step Plan
by N.V.9
Summary: Now Naruto can honestly say that he blames Itachi for all of this. Sure Itachi wasn't the one that made him deflower Sasuke, but damn it, he put the plan into Sasuke's stupid head!
1. Chapter 1

**1**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story.**

"Dude, where is that little punk?" Obito asked boredly as he stood outside with his brother, Itachi, and their two friends, Kyuubi and Deidara. "We can't wait forever for Sasuke to get his little pale ass down here."

"Obito, it's like eight in the morning on a Saturday. I doubt either of our younger brothers are even awake." Kyuubi sighed, sitting on the swing outside. "Man my head is killing me. Why did we have to wake up at this ungodly hour? Why do I feel so sick?"

"You made the mistake of drinking beyond what you could." Deidara grinned smacking his brother on the back of the head and laughing as Kyuubi groaned and cursed him. "Besides we have to go to practice."

"Who has practice at this stupid hour anyway!" Kyuubi demanded.

"Our basketball team and Naruto's soccer team." Itachi said to calmly, discretely checking out Deidara. And Deidara for his part was discretely hiding from the Uchiha's gaze behind Kyuubi's big head.

"Stop yelling! You're hurting my head! Obito I am never staying with your family again when your parents are gone!"

"First; you're yelling and second; you didn't have to, you chose to." Itachi rolled his eyes. "How are you going to make it through practice if you can't even make it through the morning?"

"Magic." Kyuubi groaned clutching his head, grateful that his parents, along with the Uchihas, were away for the next two days on something that he couldn't quiet remember at the moment. "God I'm tired of waiting!" With that he got up and made his way into his own home, that housed his younger fifteen year old brother and his best friend. Why didn't he go in before? Oh yeah, they need to go to practice and his brother was supposed to be waiting for them out here. Now they were going to be late! Great, that meant suicides for over an hour straight, after practice.

Climbing the stairs two at a time, he called out Naruto's name as he banged on the door. When he got no answer, he turned the knob and walked in "Naruto, you blonde idiot time to get-AHHHHHHH!"

At the sound of Kyuubi's girly scream, the other three ran up the stairs, each expecting to see their young brothers dead in a pile of blood, their guts everywhere, and missing body parts. Pushing Kyuubi out of the way, they ran in and saw something much worse.

In Naruto's bed were two young teens naked as the day they were born. How did they know? Well the blankets were all over the floor showing the brothers things they didn't really want to see like a naked Naruto spooning an equally naked Sasuke.

"AH!" All three guys yelled, bringing another yell from Kyuubi, waking the younger teens in bed.  
"What the-" Naruto blinked and looking at his brothers. "Can't you see we're sleeping?"

"What is going on!" Obito covered his eyes. "Please tell me you didn't... you didn't you know... god! Please tell me this isn't what it looks like!"

"What does it look like?" Sasuke asked innocently as he sat up and pulled Naruto's arms around his waist, his junk on full display, not that anyone was looking, but if they were they would have been hard pressed not to stare. He didn't want to brag, but he was pretty average in size.

"That- that you guys- you-"

"We what?"

"Had sex!" Kyuubi yelled recovering and, with his eyes closed he dug into Naruto's dresser and pulled out random articles to throw at the two boys, covering them completely.

"Hm, then I guess it is what it looks like." Sasuke said pulling a shirt on as he pushed a pair of boxers off his head. Naruto groaned as he fell back against his bed muttering something that sounded like 'stupid brothers over reacting, you'd think you were all virgins.'

Obitio of course almost denied such a claim, then remembered he was saving himself for someone special. Not that anyone needed to know though.

"That's it!" Deidara charged forward, pushing Sasuke off the bed, and grabbing his naked brother before throwing him over his shoulder and hightailing it to his own room, Kyuubi right behind him.

Dumping his screaming brother on his bed, he grabbed one of his shirts and forced it on Naruto. Kyuubi, following his lead, grabbed a pair of Deidara's boxers and tackled Naruto, trying to get them on quickly.

"I can dress myself!" Naruto struggled, trying to break free. At the same time, Kyuubi was chanting, 'Ew, ew, ew, ew' over and over as he tried to avoid poking his eye out with his brother's ding-a-long. Yes it was still a ding-a-long and would forever remain a ding-a-long until he died.

"Tell me you were joking. That it was hot and you guys decided to sleep in the nude." Deidara begged, falling to his knees and looking up at Naruto with pleading eyes, ignoring Kyuubi getting kicked in the face.

"Well yeah, that's how it started but then one thing lead to another and here we are." Naruto said, rolling his eyes at his brothers reactions. They were acting like he commited a big crime, like stealing candy from a baby.

"Naruto, you idiot!" Deidara yelled. "Do you know what you've done!"

"Slept with Sasuke?"

"No, you deflowered Sasuke... wait you topped right?"

"Duh."

"My man!" Kyuubi grinned highfiving Naruto.

"Kyuubi!" Deidara smaked his red headed brother before turning to his idiot blonde one. "Now you belong to him."

"How do you figure?" Naruto asked confused.

"You were Sasuke's first and with a Uchiha, the first ususally means they own you. I bet right now Itachi and Obito are telling Sasuke that you belong to... him." Deidara groaned. Another generation doomed to be stuck with the Uchihas'. Sure he liked them, but sometimes they were just, way too much at times.

**U ~ U**

Sasuke grumbled and cursed stupid Deidara as he picked himself up from the floor and pulled on one of the pairs of Naruto's short Kyuubi threw at him. "Overreacting idiots."

"Sasuke." at the sound of Itachi's voice, Sasuke stiffened. The sound of Itachi's voice was serious. And when it was serious, by hell or high water you had better listen.

"Yeah?" he asked putting on his pokerface as he turned around.

"Did you sleep with Naruto?"

"What do you think? And they say you're the smart one." Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. For sure he'd thought Itachi would have something smart to say.

"Was he your first?"

"Well... Yeah, who else would I sleep with? Naruto's my best friend." and strike two. If his brother asked another stupid question, he was so kicking him out of the field.

"So that means Naruto is now officially yours." Obito said going to sit on the bed before thinking twice and moving to the chair. "You didn't do anything on this did you?"

"No... wait I think we started there." Sasuke said laughing when Obito jumped up and cursed him out as he grabbed a shirt on the floor to wipe his pants. "I think we used that shirt too."

"Sasuke!" Obito yelled before running out of the room and heading to the bathroom, his hands shaking back and forth in front of him.

"Did you really?" Itachi asked with a lifted brow.

"No we only used the bed." Sasuke laughed sitting down. "I couldn't resist."

"It was funny. Okay Sasuke time to make Naruto completely your's."

"Mine?" What was Itachi talking about?

"The Uchihas' rule. Everyone knows it." how come he didn't, Sasuke wanted to say, "He was your first which means it's up to you to make him realize you are going to be his last. Now listen closely and do as I tell you."

"Why are you being so dramatic?"

"Because I can. Now do you want Naruto or not?" Itachi demanded.

Sasuke nodded and leaned closer. When his brother spoke the world listened. After all, Itachi was like god and who in their right mind would defy god? No one, that's who.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story.**

After a long very disturbing lecture, Naruto was finally dropped off with Sasuke at soccer practice. All through the ride, however, Sasuke was starting to freak him out. He kept watching him with a glint in his eyes. It wasn't natural. Even Itachi and Obito kept an eye on him. All three Uchihas' holding a small knowing smirk. What was the smirk about? Was Deidara's curse like lecture true? Naruto could have sworn Deidara said all of the over the top stuff because of Itachi...

The looks his brothers were sending him, were also freaking him out. He had a feeling that he was supposed to understand what they were trying to say with their eyes, but sadly their pointed stares did not make sense. Nor did Kyuubi's not so secret nods. Naruto was beginning to wonder if Kyuubi had brain damage.

Now here he was at soccer practice getting another lecture for being late. Nodding his head to whatever coach Genma was saying, Naruto noticed Sasuke sitting on the bleachers with what could possibily be considered his second best friend, Haku.

Whatever they were talking about, however, looked very intense or maybe he was reading their body language wrong. Afterall, those two were like the bff's of the century.

"-understand, Naruto?"

"Yes coach." Naruto said on reflex. It was a good thing he heard this lecture many times before. It never changed. Not even when Kyuubi and Deidara were getting them two and three years ago.

"Good, now go take your place on the field." Genma said turning him around and pushing Naruto on to the field.

**U ~ U**

"Haku." Sasuke smirked at his archnemises. Everyone assumed that they were close friends but in fact neither boy could really stand the other. The only reason they talked was because both of them liked Naruto. Not like as in best friend like but like as in LIKE perphaps even love Naruto, well in Haku's case. Sasuke knew for sure he loved Naruto. Everyday they tried to out do each other to get Naruto's attention. Little did Haku know that Sasuke already won. It was only natural. Naruto was his best friend and now his boyfriend, Itachi had said so himself. So what if Naruto didn't know it yet. If not for the Uchihas' rule, Sasuke would have never thought this day would come to pass. Though the only thing that mattered the most now was Sasuke had won and had Haku lost.

"Sasuke." Haku said in the exact same tone.

"Care to guess what I did last night?" Sasuke asked with a smug lift of his brow.

"Not that I care, but what did you do?" Haku asked watching Naruto run across the field in his shorts and, thank the lords above, no shirt.

"Naruto." Sasuke said looking down at his nails.

"What?"

At Haku's start and confusion, Sasuke said a little slower, "Na-ru-to."  
"What about Naruto?"

"How dense are you? I had sex with Naruto." Sasuke said glaring, "Which makes him mine and mine alone. Which means you can't put your filty hands on him. Which means he'll never be yours."

"What!" Haku yelled his face going red in rage.  
"So you do understand. Itachi said that a Uchihas' first will always be theirs. It's like a contract signed in blood and since my blood was spilt, that makes it life binding."

"How could you! He's mine!" Haku yelled before tackling Sasuke to the floor. "I'm going to kill you!"

The boys rolled off the bleachers and ended up on the floor. Both rolling to get on top. Both with tight grips around the others neck and pulling hair. Later both would deny fighting like girls instead of manly men.

"Break it up!" Genma yelled pulling them apart with help from Naruto. "What's gotten into you two?"

"Nothing." Haku stated glaring at his 'best' friend. NOT! Oh how he would love to toss Sasuke in front of a train, or under a bus, or off a plane, or off a ship, or, hmmm what other kind of transportation worked? A bike? No, that was just stupid. If he tossed Sasuke off a bike, he'd have to peddle really fast to get away because Sasuke would only get up and chase him down.

"Uchiha?"

"Nothing." Sasuke said smirking at Haku as Itachi's words ran through his head.

'_There are ten things you must do to make sure Naruto is yours and yours alone. To show Naruto no one else will ever have him. Step one: State your claim. Show everyone that fancies him that he is off limits. You spilled blood for him, correct? That is the ultimate binding on any contract.'_

Well he already stated his claim to his number one enemy. Now he just needed to show anyone else that would dare try and take his blonde away. Everyone will know by tomorrow that Naruto belonged to him!

"So you two fought for no reason?" Naruto asked, unknowingly causing Haku to see red. Sasuke noticed though. Leaning into Naruto's hold he let his smirk widen.

"Yes, it was just a small disagreement but it's fixed now." Sasuke shrugged his shoulder innocently.

"Haku?" Naruto asked causing Sasuke to glare at said boy. How dare Naruto undermine him and ask Haku!

With a smirk growing on his own face Haku nodded, "Of course Naruto. Everything is well."

"Okay then... If you guys are done killing each other..." Genma said warily letting Haku go. "Let's get back to practice."

Following his lead, Naruto released Sasuke and would have ran on to the field if Sasuke didn't pull him back. "Sasu-omph!" he finished as Sasuke's lips smashed into his own.

Letting him go five minutes later, Sasuke smirked as everyone looked on in shock at their display. "Good luck, Naruto." Sasuke said heading back to the bleachers and smirking at a pissed Haku as he passed him. What he was not expecting was an angry Haku jumping him from behind, nor did he expect said boy to slam his head over and over again into the mud.

Needless to say practice had to be kept being put on hold as both ravens glared at one another.

Once practice was done Sasuke was holding onto his annoyed blonde's arm as they waited for their brothers to come and get them.

"What happened to you?" Kyuubi asked in shock, as he took in Sasuke's form.

"Please tell me you guys didn't do it in the field!" Obito demanded frantically, looking at Naruto's swolen lips, not knowing that Sasuke kept attacking Naruto randomly. "Oh god you did!"

"No we didn't." Naruto glared, throwing his jersey at Obito's face. "Sasuke and Haku kept getting into it for some unknown reason."

"AH!" Obito yelled dodging the shirt. "I don't know what's been on that thing!"

"Sweat?" Naruto stated confused.

"Exactly! For all I know that sweat can be from your foreplay!"

"We didn't have sex!"

"Actually we did." Sasuke stated, "Just not here. Do you think I want anyone to see what belongs to me? I think not."

Itachi nodded his head in approval. To which Sasuke grinned and Naruto groaned in annoyance. He was never going to live down the kisses Sasuke kept giving him. Nor was he going to live down the little display Sasuke gave his team as they were getting read to leave. How was Naruto supposed to know that the idiot raven would take his hand and stick it down the back of the raven's pants! Naruto never moved so fast in his life to get his hand off of Sasuke's bare butt. Nor had he ever seen Haku move as fast as he did when he back tackled Sasuke _again_.

"I need to call our dads." Sasuke said as Deidara drove down the road.

"Why?" Naruto asked confused.

"I need to tell them we are getting married when we turn eighteen."

"WHAT!" Naruto, Deidara, and Kyuubi yelled.

Only Itachi nodded pleased as he gave Sasuke his own phone, "You do me proud, little brother."

Sasuke smiled as he dialed his father's number. It was time to move on to step two.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story.**

Sasuke sat beside a blushing Naruto as he met both his and Naruto's fathers stunned gazes. He had told them over the phone that he had something of importance to tell them and that they needed to hurry home.

They, of course, arrived the next day, worry clouding their faces until Sasuke broke the news. His mom and Naruto's mom were no longer in the room as they went to celebrate finally able to call each other real sisters.

His brothers were off who knows where and Naruto's brothers were in the living room cursing the Uchiha's, especially Itachi. Oh how'd he like to wrap his hands around _that _raven's neck. Heck he told Deidara when he finally snapped and killed Itachi, he'd help bury the body.

"Say again." Minato finally said as Fugaku sat there with his mouth hanging open.

"I said, Naruto and I will be getting married at eighteen. I already drawn up the contract and have signed my name and Naruto has already signed his. All you need to do is sign yours and we'll be engaged." Sasuke said slowly as he pushed the packet of papers across the desk, closer to their fathers and waited. Itachi had said contracts were important in life. Blood being the ulitmate ink on any paper. Which is why Naruto's signture was in blood and not in ink. So what if it looked like a smudge, getting Naruto even near the paper had been hard and it took a lot of effort on Sasuke's part in getting that from his blonde.

"You want to marry Naruto..." Minato got out as he looked at his blushing and furious son. "But you're only fifteen."

"Yes, which means we have three years to plan the ceremony." Sasuke stated. "I already have a few things in mind."

Still Fugaku sat there, stunned that his youngest son wanted to marry his best friend. Heck he knew Itachi wanted to marry Deidara, everyone knew that. Itachi wasn't exactly discrete to begin with, heck, his room had a giant shrine of Deidara all along one wall.

What in the world brought this on? Was this friendship, to Sasuke, more then he ever let on? Fugaku couldn't remember one time he saw Sasuke going on and on about Naruto.

"Sasuke, marriage is a lifetime co-"

"I know, Minato." Sasuke sighed and pushed the contract closer, talking to Minato as if he were daft. "Please just sign it and we can move on." Move on to step two of course, Sasuke smirked as once again his brother's words ran through his head.

_'Once step one is out of the way then move on to the next step. Everyone will know that Naruto is yours after you show them, but to make it official, you have to show them that the contract is for life. Step two: Plan your future. Marriage is forever to any Uchiha. marry him as quickly as possible.'_

Of course his brother was right again. Eighteen was perfect. They'd be in their last year of highschool and would be married before they enter college. College was a place were everyone went a little crazy. With Naruto married to him, he'd have more reasons to chase everyone off of his man.

"Why?" Fugaku finally got out.

Sasuke could think of a few reasons. All of them revolved around a certain Haku, but that was neither here or there. Instead he said the one thing that he knew would get their fathers on his side. "Naruto took my virginity."

"What!" Both adults shouted as Naruto went pale and then fainted, smacking his head on the desk as he went down.

"Yep. He was my first." Sasuke pointed out.

Without second thought, Fugaku signed it. Everyone knew the rules of the Uchiha family.

Minato facepalmed and cursed every Uchiha out there. He might as well sign it otherwise he'd have a whole clan of Uchihas pestering him endlessly. Even Uchihas he didn't know would show up at his door and demand a marriage. Getting the pen, he signed his son's life away.

"Thank you gentlemen." Sasuke nodded pleased as he stood up and grabbed the contract. "I'll have copies made and mailed to you."

"Why can't you just give them to us?" Minato asked.

"Because that would be no fun. Contracts all need to be mailed." Sasuke said before turning to Naruto who was still out on the floor. "I'll send someone for him."

With that he was gone.

"Who is he going to send?" Minato asked confused.  
Fugaku shrugged. "Come on Minato let's go drinking. With our wives on the loose we are going to be poor men soon. We won't even have enough to look at a beer."

"Right behind you." Minato said grabbing his keys. Saying a quick good-bye to his son still on the floor, Minato turned off the lights and walked out.

Hours later Naruto finally woke up sore and stiff. His head hurt like the dickens and he felt panicky. He was going to marry Sasuke!

**U ~ U**

As Sasuke finished putting the stamp on the letter that would be mailed to his father he smirked and grabbed his phone. Dialing Haku's number he waited.  
"What Uchiha!" Haku growled.

"Oh nothing, I just thought I'd let you know something." Sasuke said enjoying Haku's angry breathing on the other side. "You might want to calm down before you have a stroke."

"I'll show you calm!" Haku hissed. "I can't believe you molested my Naruto in front of me."

Sasuke grinned at the reminder at the soccer field. That was a brilliant plan. "You mean _my_ Naruto? But that's not what I called for."

"Why did you call?"

"To invite you to a wedding in three years."

"What?" Haku whispered as his eyes widen. "What wedding?"  
"Naruto's and mine of course. Our fathers just signed the contract to say that they agree. We have three years to plan and for me to shove it in your face that Naruto is _mine_."

"You bas-"

"That is no way to speak over the phone." Sasuke chuckled. "See you tomorrow at school." then he hung up. Plan two: success.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story.**

Sasuke smirked happily as he walked down the school hallway, his arm weaved through his fiance's.

Naruto, of course, was blushing like crazy as he kept his eyes glued to the floor and his hands in his pockets. His shoulders were hunched over, making him a few inches shorter then he actually was.

Sasuke didn't care, he walked tall and proud as he showed off his engagement ring that Itachi had bought at the jewelry store yesterday when he was out with Obito. Both had decided that Sasuke needed one to show he was taken. They got Naruto one to, of course, but the blonde refused to wear it.

That's when Itachi's words ran through Sasuke's head.

_'Step one and two are easy. No one denies a Uchiha anything once it's ours for the taking. But some may fight you. That is when step three comes into the picture. Use every dirty move you can to make your intended yours. Uchihas' are not above using girl moves to get what's ours.'_

So Sasuke broke down in fake sobs and 'You don't love me' cries. Naruto, being a guy, had panicked at the most famous girl move out there and took the ring and wore it on a necklace instead. Sasuke was okay with that. So long as Naruto had it, it was okay.

Both were gold bands with the Uchiha symbols engraved on it and small red and white dimands making up the Uchiha fan. Sasuke loved it. Naruto did not, but Sasuke had a way around that. He just cried some more and Naruto forced a joyful smile, telling Sasuke all the sweet lies that the raven wanted to hear.

Sasuke heard the whispers as everyone spoke about the engagment. He heard Naruto mumble something about killing the person that spread the news and something about it being only eight fifteen. Sasuke wasn't sure what that had to do with anything but he was so not saying that he anonymously called the gossip queens of the school, Karin, Ino, and, Sakura and told them about the newest couple of the school. He made sure to tell them that they had already done the deed and were now planning their wedding. Not only that, but for good measure, he had also said Naruto was deeply in love with him and couldn't see his life without Sasuke in it. He hoped Haku liked that one. It was so romantic after all.

When they finally got to Sasuke's class, the raven turned and waited expectantly for Naruto to kiss him good-bye. When the blonde only tried to pull away to get to his own class, Sasuke held firm.

"Sasuke, I need to go to class!" Naruto whined.

"Idiot, you have to kiss me good-bye." Sasuke whispered fiercly but made sure he looked like a happy man in love. If he had to, he'd jump Naruto for that kiss that would get the gossip flowing for the next four years.

"What?" Naruto blinked in confusion. "Why?"

"It's what couples do, now kiss me!"

"Do I have too?" Naruto pouted.

"If you want sex you do." Sasuke said losing his patience and digging his nails into Naruto's arm.

"We only did it once and look what happened. There is no way I'm doing it again. Who knows what the Uchiha rules are for the second time or any other after." Naruto said quickly and shook his head viciously from side to side.

"Oh we are going to do it." Sasuke threatened as his eyes went cold. Sasuke liked it, it was fun and pleasurable, Uchiha's always took what they liked. Even if Sasuke would have to force him, Naruto was going to join him in bed one way or another.

"Not in this life time." Naruto said and cringed in pain as Sasuke's nails dug in deeper.

"If you love me, you will do it."

"I love you Sasuke, like a brother, which I wished I remembered _that _night, but I'm not kissing you." Naruto said.

Like a brother... those three words ran through Sasuke's mind before he glared and snapped. Oh hell no, Naruto did not just say that. With a glare in place, Sasuke used the element of surprise. He pulled Naruto down harshly and when he was close enough, Sasuke kissed him, falling against the open door as the blonde lost his footing. Naruto tried to struggle but Sasuke just used his nails to stop him. When he deemed it enough time, he released the blonde and skipped into class.

He watched as Naruto stood there, stunned at what had just happened. His ears now going redder then Sasuke's favorite food as he turned and left. Once he was gone the whisperes started again.

"Oh my god!" someone whispered. "That kiss was so hot! Did you see it? Naruto pretty much attacked Sasuke!"

Sasuke smirked. Oh yeah, that was exactly what he wanted to hear.

When Haku came in, his eyes landed coldly on Sasuke. With a glare in place he moved to his seat by the smirking raven. "You might have everyone fooled but not me." Haku said to him alone. "Naruto will never love you."

"Oh didn't you see? He pushed me into the door and most likely would have taken me right there if I had let him." Sasuke said innocently, loud enough for everyone in the class to hear. To his pleasure, a few girls nodded their heads and began to tell Haku their version of the kiss.

By the end of the day, Sasuke was extreamly happy. The whole school now saw Naruto as a possessive lover who had sex with Sasuke in the hallway before going off to his own class.

Naruto had wanted to die but Sasuke used the second famous girl move, not the silent treatment, that wouldn't work, any girl that thought it worked was only fooling themselves, because hello? The best gift a girl can give to her guy is the nonstop moving of her lips. Instead Sasuke threated to take his most favorite body part if he didn't do as Sasuke wanted. So Naruto had smiled like he had won a million dollars. Sasuke, of course, was worth more than that, but it seemed like what he would charge if he was giving out kisses, so it worked.


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story.**

Sasuke hummed happily as he looked at the shoe box filled with items he had aquired over the years. He knew saving these things would come in handy some day. Looks like today would be it.

He wished he didn't have to do this but Naruto left him no choice. The stupid blonde would not do as Sasuke wanted and so to fix that, this box was needed. Oh yes, Naruto would rue the day he told Sasuke 'no'. With a smirk in place, Sasuke put the box in a bag, along with the newest contract, and hightailed it out of his room. Yelling 'I'm going to Naruto's to talk about wedding details, be back later!' he was gone.

It didn't take long for him to arrive at Naruto's house. With every Uchiha on his side and planning an extravgant wedding that would be happening in three years, Sasuke had a ride to anywhere. It was choosing who to pick that would get the privilage that was complicated. Of course Naruto lived a walking distance away but Sasuke was not walking his beautiful behind to Naruto's. He was too perfect to be seen walking like a common person.

Instead of knocking on the door of his fiance, when he arrived, he walked right in as if he belonged. Which he did. Hello, this was all going to be his someday. Of course, Sasuke would sale it to Deidara so Naruto could get them a better place, because Sasuke was not living in a house smaller then his parents. Children strived to be better then them, Sasuke was no different. His house was going to be better then any Uchiha's before him. It was a rule, the younger Uchiha had to outdo the oldest.

"Sasuke, what are you doing here?" Kyuubi asked standing in his boxers, socks, and a t-shirt filled with stains. In his hands were a bag of chips, cookies, two different liters of pop, ice cream, and surprisingly an apple.

"Are you hibernating?" Sasuke asked, lifting a brow at his soon to be brother-in-law. Although Kyuubi was bound to be their pet. He was just too, not normal to be anything but. Sasuke was going to make sure he knew how to use the toilet or he'd be sleeping outside.

"I'm not a damn animal!" Kyuubi glared.

"You act like one. When Naruto and I get married, I'm going to make sure you stay on a leash. I can't having you attacking complete strangers when we take you for a walk."

"You little-"

"Sasuke?" Deidara called coming through the front door in running gear, sweat running down his face. "Please tell me that you came alone? I can't stand Itachi stalking me."

"Why would Itachi stalk you?" Sasuke lifted his brow.

"Like he's going to stalk Kyuubi." Deidara rolled his eyes. Turning back to Kyuubi, Sasuke had to agree, only an idiot would stalk the dumb redhead.

"Hey! I'm stalkable!" Kyuubi pouted as he shuffled the food around in his arms and pulled out a sandwich. Where did that come from? Sasuke wondered surprised that he didn't see it before. "Who wouldn't want to stalk me?"

"Smart people." Sasuke pointed out. "Where is Naruto?"

"He's upstairs glaring at the wall." Kyuubi answered moving toward the living room, mouth filled with food.

Nodding, Sasuke said good-bye to Deidara and headed toward Naruto's room. Not bothering to knock, he opened the door and smirked as he saw Naruto shirtless, sitting on his bed, and glaring at the wall. "Naruto-"

"Great." Naruto said never looking away from the wall.

"Is that anyway to talk to your future husband? The man that is going to be tied to you forever?" Sasuke said raising an eyebrow and moving to stand in front of Naruto.

"Yes." the blonde said and turned his gaze to glare at another wall.

"Fine, I didn't want to have to do this but you gave me no choice." Sasuke sighed and pulled out the box, Itachi's words going through his head.

_'Step four is sort of tricky. Depending on what the progress is, you can either skip it or use it. It's up to you to decide if you wish to use it or not. Step four: Blackmail. Many times your intended doesn't wish to do as you say. Therefore we need material to get what we want. It never fails. If you have to, fib a little or threaten when needed.'_

With all this amazing advice, Sasuke wondered how Deidara wasn't already married to Itachi... eh who cared. They weren't as important as Naruto and himself.

"What is that?" Naruto frowned warily as he tried to move away from the box.

"This is going to decide your fate and give me sex." Sasuke smirked as Naruto opened his mouth to protest only to die down as he saw what was inside the box.

"Is that a picture of..." he asked as horror filled his face.

"Yes a picture of you when you were seven and dressed as a princess." Of course this picture was for halloween and Naruto had lost a dare but people didn't need to know that. "I'm going to tell everyone you wanted to be a princess when you were a child."

"But that was for hallow-"

"How many people are going to believe that one?" Sasuke taunted. "Uchihas' don't lie."

"That's a lie right there!" Naruto yelled and pointed a finger at him. "Go ahead, I'm still not having sex with you!"

"How about this then?" Sasuke said putting the picture back in and grabbing another with Naruto at twelve and wearing makeup. Yes he was asleep but Sasuke had fun posing him to make it look like he was awake. Man he was good at this makeup stuff.

"What the hell! I don't even remember that!" Naruto said as he looked himself over, "God, I make an ugly girl!"

"But the make up is good." Sasuke said happily.

"Where did you get this and when did it happen?"

"Does it matter?" Sasuke said putting it back. "Are you still going to deny me?"

"Yes." Naruto said stubbernly. How much could his reputation take? If this went on, people were going to think he was secretly wanting to do drag.

"How about this?" Sasuke said pulling out a dvd. It was of Naruto at thirteen doing some kind of weird dance move. At that point in life, Naruto wanted to be a dancer, but it would be later that he would realize he looked like a fish and an old guy mixed with the way he moved around.

"Is that what I think it is?" Naruto asked horrified.

"It is. I'm sure youtube watchers would love to see this." Sasuke smirked knowing he was winning.

"Oh god..." Naruto paled. "What else do you have?"

"I have your doll when you were six. Lots of pictures of the most interesting things that you are doing. Once of which is when it was cold and someone pulled your pants down-"

"I was nine!" Naruto shouted. If that one got out, people would think he was tiny! That was worse then any of the things Sasuke could throw at him. He'd be known as tootsie roll for the rest of his life.  
"-and if that doesn't work I have your stuffed animal as my hostage." Sasuke said breaking into his thoughts and pulling out a picture of a familiar teddy bear with his arms tied behind his back and his legs tied to a kids chair legs. A blind fold was wrapped around his eyes as a gag was over his mouth. Near the teddy bear was a unlit candle and a can of gasoline.

"Not Soc!" Naruto cried as he got the picture and stared at the horror his teddy bear was in. The teddy bear had been his friend since he was three. "Fine! You win!"

"Knew you'd have it my way. Now sign this."

Not looking at what he was signing, Naruto did so quickly and then grunted when Sasuke jumped him. "Sa-Omph!"

Hours later, as Naruto slept beside him, Sasuke smirked. Itachi was a genius. Maybe he should help him with Deidara? Nah, Itachi always got what he wanted. He was most likely working his own plan on the older blonde.


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story.**

Naruto went quiet as he heard someone moving around in his room. Putting his ear against the close door, he gasped when he heard something being moved and something else breaking. Was this intruder planning on stealing his tiny tv and little radio that didn't really work?

"Freeze! I got a gun!" he shouted as he turned the knob and slammed his shoulder against the door only to fly backward and land on his back.

"Naruto?" he heard someone say from the other side. Just one simple word, and Naruto knew who it was before the door was unlocked and opened. "Why are you on the floor?"

"Why are you in my room?" he asked from his spot on the floor, his eyes trying to see passed Sasuke. If Sasuke was in there, unsupervised, something was wrong.

"I'm fixing things up." Sasuke answered as he turned and gestured for him to come in. "It's a bit of a mess but I'm getting things in order."

"Order? What order? Why are you-WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOM!" Naruto ran in and found nothing of his in the room. In fact, everything was Sasuke's. From the bed to the dresser to- "Please tell me that isn't your thinking chair?" he said pointing two a very big leather chair in the corner.

"No," Sasuke shook his head as he pulled Naruto farther in. "That's our sex chair now."  
"Our what!" Naruto yelled in shock. "Nu-uh. I am not-"

"You signed this contract." Sasuke said pulling a stack of papers out of nowhere. "Remember? The other day you signed it freely."

"What!" Naruto shouted as he pulled the pack of papers from Sasuke's hand and quickly read them. "Sex whenever you want it! Toys! Dress-up! There is no way in hell you are going to stick a dildo up my butt! Nor are you going to whip me and make me scream 'More Daddy'!"

"It's in the contract." Sasuke pointed out again as he took the packet back. "This lets me do whatever I want with you so long as we have sex."

"You've got to be kidding me!" He needed to wake up from this nightmare. Please just let me wake up! "Where is my stuff?"

"Oh, I threw it out the window." Sasuke shrugged. "What do you think of the make-over?"

"This is all your stuff! It looks like your room!" Naruto yelled and ran to the window to find all of this thing scattered in the backyard. Even his clothes were down there.

"I know!" Sasuke nodded happily. "Isn't it great that our houses were made the same. It feels so homey."

"How did you get my desk out the window!" The desk was heavy.

"It took a bit of muscle and a hammer." Sasuke shrugged as he sat on the bed. "Besides if we're going to live together, I need to feel comfortable."

"Live together? What?" Naruto felt weak. Living with Sasuke... He could only stand him in small doses. Sasuke kind of scared him. "Why are we living together?"

"Because silly," Sasuke grinned as he stood up and moved him backward toward the leather chair. "I said so."

Little did Naruto know that Itachi's words were going through Sasuke's head.

_'When you get the first four steps done, it's time for step five. Step five: Move in. It'll let him know that you're serious and there's no getting out of it. Some Uchihas' move in slowly so as not to panic their victims. I say just pack up everything in one trip and go.'_

"Wait why are we on this chair?" Naruto asked looking a little panicked.

"Because we're going to have sex." Sasuke explained.

"What!"

"And I get to top."  
"WHAT!"

**U ~ U**

Hours later, Naruto was about ready to die. He was so exhausted he just wanted to pass out and never wake up. Sasuke had kept them busy for up to six hours, only taking a break to eat lunch, that his giggling mom had brought up for them. Seeing her son, her youngest son, he might add, naked on the bed and Sasuke in a rob, she had squealed and said she needed to call Mikoto.

And that was his mom!

On another note, his butt was sore. Sasuke had started off fast and slowly calmed down. At that point Naruto thought they were done, because he was aching by then, but oh how wrong he was.

Sasuke was done alright, but not done the way Naruto wanted him to be. Instead Sasuke had grew tired of doing everything and told Naruto it was his turn. Naruto had gave him a 'are you crazy' look, but Sasuke had just mentioned the contract he had signed unknowingly to get his bear. Speaking of which, the stupid bear was also thrown out the window and he knew Kyuubi had it. Kyuubi collected teddy bears like other people collected cards. His whole room was swamped with teddy bears and each of them had their own name. Now he was going to have to fight to get Soc back or else he signed his sex life away for nothing.

"Shhh!" he heard his mother whisper on the otherside of the door. "I can't hear anything."

"Me either." Mikoto whispered back. "I wish they hadn't locked the door or closed the curtains."

"Hmmm, let's go find Itachi spying on Deidara taking a shower." he heard his mom giggle and Mikoto quickly agree as they took off running.

OHMYGOD! Their moms were perverts!


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

**Look toward profile/bio for disclaimer and anything else involving this story.**

"Deidara you have to save me! It's your responsibility to protect me!" Naruto cried as he held tightly onto Deidara's right leg, his brother completely ignoring him, finding food more important then Naruto's welfare.

"Naruto, sometimes rain _isn't_ a good thing." Deidara answered, too busy making himself a snack to notice Naruto's confused stare.

"Um, okay-"

"You know there was a reason people all over the world were told not to take the girl." Deidara went on, an unknown smirk appearing on his face.

"Sasuke's a boy-"

"Who reminds me of a person that'll always want to sample dat ass." Deidara said thoughtfully.

"Huh?"

"You gotta face reality now, Naruto. This isn't just a dream anymore." Deidara continued, licking the butter knife. "Now you gotta meet in the middle, because let's face it. Oops you did it again."

"Why are you using song titles on me!" Naruto demanded, standing up to glare properly at Deidara.

"Because you made it too easy." Deidara grinned evily. "I was beginning to think I was going to have to go through my who Ipod list."

"I know your Ipod list! Half of those titles aren't even on it!"

"So I borrowed Britney Spears from Kyuubi," Deidara shrugged. "Point is you're screwed in all forms you can use that word for."

"Well how do I get unscrewed?"

"Well you screwed that up when you decided to smack that."

"Akon is so going to sue you for using his song in your stupid unhelpful explanation." Naruto crossed his arms and pouted, soon after noticing that Deidara had made two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Taking one for himself, he followed Deidara to the kitchen table.

"Akon has better things to do then snoop into my life, wait in the closet, and record everytime I use his song in anything." Deidara rolled his eyes, ripping a few pieces of his crust off and nibbling on them in thought. How weird would that be if Akon actually did that... "Huh?"

"I said how do you keep avoiding Itachi? He's like a damn dog in heat. I'm surprised he's not here." Naruto said again, stuffing the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.

"I could same about Sasuke but the answer is, both are out with their parents and Obito, to which I am completely grateful for, visiting an uncle. Therefore we have a whole day free of them." Deidara shrugged, handing the rest of his sandwich to Naruto. He hated when he made something and it didn't taste at all like what he wanted it to taste like. "And as for Itachi...I haven't slept with him. Don't get me wrong, he has tried. From romance -to which he sucks at-, to demanding and ordering about -to which I reminded him he sucked even more out-, to pouting and crying -to which I laugh at-, and finally to down right rape -to which he should never make a hobby out of. I mean the last time he tried, he fell through my window, waking me up, and then knocked himself out before he got to the bed. I turned on the light and found all kinds of rags and chemicals, rope and god knows what else tied around his waist."

"What did you do?" Naruto asked, trying to figure out where he was at durning this time, while he also tried to picture Itachi doing said things. So far none matched up to the perfect image of one Itachi Uchiha. Itachi Uchiha was like god.

"I rolled him right back outside and started booby trapping my window. You know that cat like yowl you here at three in the morning, every morning?" at Naruto's nod, Deidara said, "Yeah he falls for them all the time."

"I'm doomed, aren't I?" Naruto said after a while.

"You're so doomed that Doctor Doom has given up all rights on his name and joined the Fantastic Four to capture you." Deidara said.

"You are such a nerd."

"Yes, but this nerd isn't being forced to walk down any aisles anytime soon." was Deidara's parting remark as he left the room.

"If anything Sasuke's walking!" Naruto shouted after him.

**U ~ U**

Sasuke was excited to try out step sex, er uh, step six. The whole day he was away from his financee, who better have missed him or else, Sasuke had thought of little else beyond his next step. Seduction.

Like clockwork, Itachi's words replayed in his mind:

'_Step six is always the fun one. Step six requires you to seduce your target and make them turn to putty in a heartbeat. Do everything you always wanted to do to make them want you to the point of exploding.'_

Yes step six was going to be fun. But first he had to get home and out of the car filled with Obito's annoying snoring. Itachi kept pretending to stretch, his fist accidently hitting Obito's head into the window to no avail. His brother was dead to the world, and Sasuke only wished his body would realize it and shut up.

"Home!" his mother shouted as they parked and all but Obito jumped right out. Uncaring of his family, Sasuke told them he was going to Naruto's and Itachi quickly offered to give him a ride. Five minutes later both walked into the Namikaze household to find Kushina and Minato screaming at the tv as Kyuubi jumped on the couch in excitement. To this Sasuke wondered why anyone would get this excited watching wrestling.

"Little brother," Itachi said as his Deidara's senses kicked in and he headed toward Deidara's room, the stairs flying quickly under his feet.

Not one to lag behind, Sasuke quickly moved to Naruto's room, fixing his clothes and hair before walking in. He found Naruto at his computer, beats over his ears blocking the world out of his little world.

With a grin, Sasuke stripped and then looked around quickly for one of Naruto's shirts. Not finding a long sleeved button up shirt, which would have looked amazing on him, he settled for Naruto's favorite t-shirt which was orange with the words, 'so not a ninja'.

Posing himself on Naruto's bed, one leg stretched out the other bent. One arm thrown over his head and the other resting just above his covered thigh, Sasuke called Naruto's name.

Ten minutes later, a glare covered his face as his body continued to tense. Just how loud was that stupid music?! With each time he had called Naruto, he had raised his voice and gained no results. Looking around, he found a shoe just beside the bed and threw it hard, catching Naruto in the back of his head. With an omph, Naruto's head went forward and... "What the hell!?" Sasuke gaped as Naruto fell to the floor unconscious, his beats falling completely off his head to dangle from the computer.

With an annoyed huff, Sasuke stalked toward his unresponsive fiancee and grasped him around the ankles. With a grunt, he turned Naruto around, hitting the blonde's head on the desk's legs. "Damn it! This isn't working!" he pouted, dragging Naruto across the floor toward the bed. With another grunt, he picked Naruto up and tossed him on the bed, only to watch wide eye as Naruto bounced once and flew off the other side, once more hitting his head as it snapped against the wall. "You have to be kidding me!" Sasuke shouted, crawling over the bed, only to lose his balance.

"OH HEAVENLY FATHER!" Naruto screamed as he cupped his balls. With speed that rivaled a sports car, Naruto flew up. His head connecting with Sasuke's. "Please tell me I'm in hell." Naruto begged, opening his eyes and spotting Sasuke. Sasuke, who was wearing his favorite orange t-shirt. Sasuke, who's manbits were dangling out from the bottom of the waistline.

"Idiot!" Sasuke grunted, holding both hands to his forehead. "You make everything impossible!"

"Excuse me for wanting to keep Jr. intact!" Naruto shouted back, a blush covering his face, his eyes unable to look away from Sasuke's, uh, little man swinging back and forth between his thighs. It was almost hypnotic. Pretty soon he'd be clucking like a chicken or since it was Sasuke, become Sasuke's pet.

"If I bruise, you will never get inbetween the sheets with me again!" Sasuke threatened.

"God does exist!" Naruto shouted happily, only to lose his breath as Sasuke punched him, and once more Naruto saw stars.

Sasuke meanwhile cursed himself as he realized he had just failed step six! How was he supposed to seduce the idiot if the idiot kept falling unconscious!

"Step seven better make up for this." He growled, arms crossed as a red spotch continued to sprout between his eyebrows.


End file.
